Getting myself prepared to Perform 120% in this Task I have been Given

As you may know, I tend to give myself 120% to a task I undertake at a minimum. Having said that, I know myself and know how much working a full day here and there this past few months has taken out of me. It’s going to be tough at first.

The job to be done job at WYSE has a DIRECT correlation to all the work I have done in the past and all the skills I have learned and sought since about 19 years old.

Since that age, I have known my purpose(barring periods of misdirection). I KNOW how blessed I have been to be able to see some of the things that Spirit has always planned for me to contribute in this life. I have tried not to take this for granted. When I have strayed from my path, I have suffered for it. Although each lesson and opportunity has brought me right HERE, to this point in my life.

As I walked home from the school this morning, after walking J there, something came to me.

Many people have asked me, “why only 3 mos?”. What they are asking is why I don’t want to be the “permanent” Executive Director of WYSE. I can’t go into all the details of that here, but let’s just say that the reasons why I am ideal for this Interim Position, are the same reasons why I would NOT want to be committed to this organization in this capacity long term. As a 2 year volunteer, I think I have proven that I AM committed to WYSE‘s work, the college women who volunteer anywhere from 10-30 hours a week to their jobs at the national sites, and the young women who are mentored by them. The program and the way this organization came to being are inspirational and stellar. The curriculum is of the highest quality and I will be proud to be an advocate of all of this.

Two points:

1) A long long time ago in a far far away, an attractive (in a wise man way) graying (he was about 54 at the time) Executive Director of a community health center was having a long conversation with a young woman(29 yrs. old) he was mentoring in the field of youth development and public health. She had come into his office to discuss some issues she was having with her boss, BLOB(um…fat ineffectual untalented chauvinist pig backstabbing pea brain named Bob), and she needed some sage advice. He told her the TRUTH about why he had hired BLOB(political clout) and told her that she would have been Director of Youth Development by then, but she had X, Y & Z to learn and grow into who she really could be professionally. He told her that he saw her going very far in the field of youth development and just as she dreamed of, starting a youth organization (that’s a deep and complicated dream and maybe I’ll explain it some day soon) and he wanted her to know something about Executive Directors.

You see he had been ill recently, mostly stress induced exhaustion and depression(mild) and she had noticed and reached out to him in concern. She found him asleep at his desk one day and was really scared he may be heading towards a stroke or a heart attack.

This is what he said to her…I paraphrase, “Well kid, let me tell you something about myself. I think that I have overstayed my welcome here at SSCHC. You and I are very alike in that we are visionaries. We can look at a situation and see an outcome that will bring great results and help many people, and we can bring in the right people to get it done. You have done just that with the youth you have hired in your program. But…there are two types of Directors of ANY organization, not just a non profit. The first type is a person who has always desired the stability of a job they will work for 30 years and retire from. A person who comes into a healthy organization or one that needs a bit of tweaking and moves forward with and grows with that organization until retirement. This ED does a good job and is content in his/her work. Then there is the OTHER. The person who is the visionary. The person who is hired for their dynamic ideas and their ability to bring about change, roll with the punches and  bring healing and growth to an organization. That person would never be content, and in fact would wither in a situation where they are “tied down” to an organization for more than a couple of years. That person is most suited to be an Interim Executive Director. That is what I was hired for. (sordid story edited out–I know it, just can’t tell all of you) I have now been here over 3 years and I should have left at year two. I am burnt out and would feel guilty leaving as I don’t see anyone else in line to keep this moving. I am suffocating”

Long story short…that man, my mentor, stayed there many more years and ended up retiring a couple of years ago. The outcome? Poor. I WILL NOT go into ANY of that.

2) Back to my thoughts as  walked back down Carson St. in the morning cool and sunshine. I know what I am taking on by excepting this job at WYSE. I also know my limits and my desires for the future(near and far) and I KNOW in my heart and soul that Spirit has  been working very meticulously to get me to this place where my CORE belief is that I am not meant to work for one person…I am not meant to be just another person doing a 9 to 5 to make some cash….I am NOT supposed to make any commitment to a job that will keep me “stuck” in one IDEA for very long and I AM supposed to be using my expertise and passion to help many.

I have always known this, I have NOT always been able to see the open door that I just need to reach for and turn the knob.

I just got a glimpse of it!

I am blessed.

I am grateful.

I have had a vision of the next step I am working towards and I am humbled AND overwhelmed at how close I am getting to actualizing my deepest desires.

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